I am a corporate lawyer- you know the kind that assists businesses and does business all at the same time?
I have worked with large and mid sized law offices till about July in the year 2013. Of course, it was Business. Business. Business. What else! Targets to meet, budgets to plan! Errrm, where was the law?
A big part of our ‘business’ lives was ‘networking’. A millstone around the neck really! We, the partners, were sent off at alarmingly frequent intervals to attend conferences and other high profile meets (and lunches, dinners; everything). At that time, for me, networking and selling oneself (read: the current law office) were definitely two sides of the same coin. At these conferences and other high profile meets, ‘between hours’ and ‘after hours’ were golden (who cared about the discussions, speeches etc. right?) – that’s when you put on your best smile, straighten your jacket (or the equivalent thereof), check the sufficiency of business cards and…. zone in on your target. You do this over and over again till your face hurt, your head hurt, hell, everything hurt! We would then come back and write glorious reports about our glorious achievements and send out the mandatory emails: “It was indeed a pleasure meeting with you. I hope we will have the opportunity to work together soon”.
During those days, I felt like I was always going about meeting people with a giant placard around my neck- “Best in the Business. High Profile Clients. INR 20,000 per hour. Bonus: You have my soul for free”.
In my then 17 years (22 now!) in the ‘profession’, I must have accumulated lakhs of business cards, all of which dutifully found their places in one ‘business development’ database or another. I don’t know what happened to the ones I handed out- in all fairness though, a decent number of the people I met did stay in touch, even if not for work.
I remember an ex-partner, definitely the ‘King Of Networking’, taking the game to an altogether different level. No place was out of bounds for him when he was at his ‘networking’ best. He would even ‘network’ in airport toilets – imagine that!
I detested ‘networking’.
To get to the point- I quit the latest law office, set up my own shop and decided to do things differently. But, having been through the law offices assembly line, I did not know what ‘different’ was or how to even go about finding out. I decided to wing it. I am still at it!
I was at a fancy conference a while ago. At the end of a session, an adoring crowd gathered around the very well known ‘Mr. M’. He is tall, stood apart from the rest in every other sense of the term and obviously possessed of a sunny disposition judging by the tittering crowd around him. The spotlight seemed to shine on him alone. I had, of course, been eyeing him for a while- I had to speak with him! With determination writ large on my face, I cleaved my way through the crowd. I would have been hissed and booed at, had it not been for the solemnity of the occasion. “Mr. M, I said. Please do save your last business card for me. You seem like an interesting person and I would love the opportunity to chat with you sometime at your convenience (no gender related undertones here!)”. To his credit and despite the flicker of surprise on his face, he did proffer me his last business card. He also emailed me the next day and we have had a few merry chats already.
I truly believe women (and certain men) instinctively know the appropriate occasion (or the absence thereof) for an appropriate conversation. Women apply this instinct in their personal lives every day and it sort of naturally flows into their business worlds as well. This is not to say that we shy away from ‘business talk’- we just know the how’s and when’s of it better than our male counterparts. I, for one, can speak for hours about the business side of the world I live in, but I can also most certainly say that if I had spoken ‘business’ with Mr. M at that moment, not much would have registered with him! Indeed, if I were Mr. M, I would want a moment of quiet after a rather exhausting session- visit the restroom, go for a smoke, maybe- come back and meet whoever still wished to meet me!
I also truly believe that women go about business networking with quieter dignity- I could be wrong!
Of course I continue to attend conferences and other high profile meets. I am fairly active on several professional networks too.
I still meet people and when I do, I ask a bit about them, talk a bit about me but leave the business conversations to another convenient day. I have had enormously beneficial conversations thisaway! I am still a corporate lawyer and ‘life’ is indeed pleasant.
In all earnestness, I now like to keep my ‘networking’ more meaningful. I like to just ‘meet’ people.
Postscript: The foregoing are my views and mine alone. I did not consult anyone before waxing eloquent, especially on behalf of all womankind.
Sira, Doi Aru Gur 